Remember Me?
by Megan Faye
Summary: Olivia is injured when arresting someone, and the squad has to keep it together without her, or they'll all be lost. T for Language. Epilogue added due to high demand. So, its even more COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Remember Me

Author: Megan Faye

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.

A/N: There's a cookie in here for you sitcom fans! If you can find it I'll give you 10 points!! Hint: Its not in this chapter!!

* * *

Olivia inhaled the scent of the sweet 'nectar of life.' Elliot always brought her coffee, and most of the time, he got it right. Some days, it was a little too sweet, but most days, he knew just what she needed. This, however, was not coffee she smelled. This was better. This was hot chocolate. He loved to surprise her occasionally and bring her a treat. Olivia asked what he ordered different than she did, but he refused to divulge the secret. It was always just..better...when he ordered it.

"Oh, god. This is terrific," she said after a sip. Elliot laughed lightly as she wiped the whipped cream from her lip.

"Glad you approve, 'Livia."

"Please tell me! I need to know what's different! I got one yesterday and it just..sucked. They WHOLE time I was under cover in Oregon, I couldn't have a hot chocolate. Yeah, you should have seen me at the protests when I couldn't figure out the difference. I wasn't _acting _pissy. I _was _pissy."

"Honey, you'll never get it out of me. Stop trying!" She flung her pen at him playfully.

"So, what we got today?"

"Sixteen-year-old waited until her baby was born to cry rape."

"I swear, if this is another one of-"

"Its not. The guy she's saying raped her is 17, broke as a joke, and doesn't want a thing to do with her or the kid."

"Why'd she wait so long?"

"Her father wouldn't let her come forward. He thought that if she and her boyfriend were messing around, the kid would be boyfriend's and it was just a way to get out of being in trouble." Olivia handed him the file. "Guess what? Baby isn't boyfriends."

"Jesus, that's what a 16 year old looks like? She looks younger than Lizzie!" Elliot felt a little sick to his stomach. "Let's go pick this guy up for questioning."

"Fin and Munch are at the hospital talking with the parents, the girl and boyfriend."

"Cap, we got a suspect. We'll be back!" Elliot hollered towards the office.

* * *

"I think I figured it out!" Olivia said, tossing the cup into a garbage can outside of the apartment building where the suspect lived. "Every time I ask, you say the same thing, 'Honey, you'll never get it out of me.' Its Honey! You put a little honey in it!"

"Gee, great detective work, Benson. I've been waiting for you to get it for 8 years."

"Jerk," she muttered to him, grinning. She and Elliot bound up the steps to the door and looked. "Here we go." Elliot knocked.

"Jeremy Rivvan," he called.

"What do you want?" he yelled through the door. Elliot flashed a badge to the peep hole and the door opened.

"I'm Detective Stabler, this is my partner, Detective Benson. You know a girl name Lacy Reagens?"

"Yeah, she just had a kid."

"Your kid, to be specific. Baby has your green eyes. Lacy has blue, her boy friend has blue."

"So?"

"She says you raped her," Olivia said, stepping a little closer. Jeremy stood as tall as he could over her.

"I didn't rape her, bitch," he said forcefully, and shoved Liv hard. Elliot grabbed the boy, who kicked wildly, knocking Olivia down the stairs.

"Olivia!" Elliot yelled. He cuffed the kid and ran down to his partner, who lay still on the side walk. "This is Detective Stabler, I need a bus..."

* * *

"Is she okay?" Cragen asked. Elliot's eyes were red and his face was tear stained. He simply shrugged. "What happened?" Elliot made no attempt to talk; tears immediately pooled and slipped from his eyes. "Elliot, I need to know. Not asking as a friend, I'm asking as a Captain."

"We, uh, we went to question a kid. He pushed her, and when I grabbed him, she was a lot closer to the stairs. He...started kicking...trying to break free, and Olivia tried to help restrain him. The kid was just kicking, and caught her in he chest, and she fell down the stairs."

"And then?"

"I cuffed the kid to his door handle and went to check on Liv. Called for a bus and then when they got here, I let the squad car take the kid." Cragen nodded. "Cap, she looked so helpless...lying there. One minute we were talking about hot chocolate, the next, we're here and I don't know if she's even alive. I've lost her twice already, Captain. I can't go through this again." His voice had no tone to it. It was barely over a whisper. Cragen could tell that Elliot was breaking.

"Elliot Stabler?"

"How is she?"

"There is sever head trauma. They're taking her into surgery now. She in critical condition. Honestly, we don't know if she'll come out of this. If she does, there could be serious brain damage. Also, her wrist was sprained, several ribs were bruised, and there is swelling of the spinal chord. Once she's out of surgery, the swelling should go down, and we'll know if there is serious damage to her back. A neurosurgeon will talk to you after the surgery. Are you next of kin?"

"I'm listed as next of kin," Don said. "Do I need to sign any forms?"

"Please come with me." Elliot sat back down in a daze. Next of Kin never occurred to him. He had Kathy, his children, siblings. Olivia had her mother, who died, and the squad. Elliot and Cragen were her next of kin.

Elliot hadn't prayed since he signed the divorce papers, but now was as good a time as any to remember how. He prayed silently for his friend. Elliot only stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Brought you a coffee," Munch said, holding his offering out.

"Thanks."

"Cragen filled us in. C'mon. The surgical waiting room is two floor up.

* * *

Fin was sure that the carpet Elliot paced would need replacing after this night of waiting. He looked at the worn patch Elliot walked across and wondered how many people's foot steps Elliot tread upon; how many people awaited the fate of a loved one in this room. Hopefully, they would be hearing good news, soon. Fin looked out the window. The sun was rising and the sky was fading from its night-time black to a clear blue day. Olivia loves days like this.

"Mr. Cragen? Mr. Stabler?" The men all jumped up to meet the doctor. "Olivia is out of surgery and in recovery. It looks as though she'll pull through. We were able to relieve the pressure on her spine and brain, but the damage may already be done. We'll know more over the next week when she wakes up completely.

"Can I see her?"

"No, not until she's moved into I.C.U. She'll be moved there in an hour or so. When she's there, she can have one visitor at a time, no more than an hour overall. When she wakes up, we'll see how she's doing and maybe increase that time a little bit." Elliot exhaled loudly through his nose. "The cafeteria is opening in 10 minutes. Go, eat. I'll send someone down. I promise."

"Thank you," Cragen said, stepping in front of Elliot. As the nurse left, Cragen sighed and faced his men.

"We should get breakfast."

"Captain, I think I'll wait-"

"In the cafeteria with us. You've been here 18 hours without anything more than a cup of coffee." Cragen lead the men down the hallway. "You know, Olivia is good at this kind of thing. She always knows what to say to calm you guys down."

"She's never been the one seriously injured. I never let a perp get that close before," Elliot whispered. "She hated how protective we all were with her."

"She likes to yell at me about it," Cragen said. "She told me that she's a damn good cop and not to treat her like a child. I couldn't help it. I think of her as my own daughter."

"I never should have let it happen."

"Its not your fault, Elliot. The kid kicked her down the stairs. You were doing your best to restrain him. You can't protect her from everything, El. We've all tried, and she still got hurt." Don sighed heavily. "Its as much my fault for sending her out there." The rounded the last corner and found themselves in line for breakfast. They each chose the same; bagel, cream cheese, fruit bowl, coffee and an orange juice. It was something Olivia would enjoy on a slow morning while the guys fought over donuts.

In her earlier years on the squad, she'd have dove into the donuts right along with them, but somewhere over the years, she lost interest in the sweets, and began to eat healthier foods in general. When she returned from her undercover assignment in Oregon, it was weeks before she gave up organic foods, and had a steak with Elliot. He smiled at the memory as they looked for a table. She'd told him it was the best slab of meat she'd ever eaten, cow be damned.

The four men ate in absolute silence, and never actually finished more than a few bites each before they realized they don't like bagels, Munch hated cream cheese, and Fin was allergic to the fruit he picked out.

"We're pathetic," Elliot said lightly. "Olivia is alive, and will come out of this. She's a whole helluva lot stronger than any of us."

"Damn straight," Fin added

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Remember Me

Author: Megan Faye

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.

A/N: There's a cookie in here for you sitcom fans! If you can find it I'll give you 10 points!! Hint: Its in this chapter!!

* * *

It was several hour before they were able to visit Olivia. She was still in a coma, but it was, at this point, medically induced. The doctor said taht it would remain medically induced for a week, and then they would take her off the medicine, and see if Olivia could wake on her own. They limited to a few minutes each, except Elliot. He stayed by her bed until they threatened to call security to remove him. She looked so helpless and small in the hospital bed; Olivia looking helpless put a bolt of fear down his spine. She never looked helpless before. Olivia Benson was the epitome of strength. 

Cragen ordered Elliot to go home, shower, and sleep. He wasn't to leave his home for 20 hours; long enough for him to get all the sleep he needed, at least two meals, and hopefully, at least one shower. Munch decided he'd park on Elliot's couch; John would make sure Elliot did only what was ordered of him.

Elliot nibbled on a cereal bar, showered, drank a cup of coffee that John prepared for him, and fell asleep on the couch while Munch watched a documentary on the life of a weed that was terrorized by a cat on the streets of New York City.

He figured that it had won the Silver Sprocket, so it mustn't be too bad. Munch had no idea who this guy was, but his work was genius. Next, was 'Weed's' director's 9-year-old daughter's movie premiere. She'd written, directed, and by the looks of it, did the camera work, for her own documentary. "How a Good Man sees a Child." It was an innocent movie. She talked to people in her family, while holding the camera. There was love, affection, annoyance. John really enjoyed her half hour film. It made his work evaporate from his brain. John took a mental note to write a letter, thanking him for helping her make such a movie.

As the day moved on, there was no news of Olivia's condition. John knew there would be no change for this first week. He had the feeling that Don would put a double team on Elliot; there would always be two people with the man. Two people, two 12 hour shifts, and maybe they'd keep Elliot afloat. When Fin knocked on the door at 5:56pm, the 'double team' theory was confirmed.

"Brought you some clothes," Fin told his partner. "I also grabbed your pillow, and some take out. Figured sleeping beauty hadn't been shopping in quite a while."

"Thanks, man. C'mon in." Fin brought the duffel and suits into Elliot's guest room before returning.

"Cragen wants a two by two on him."

"I figured. What are the shifts?"

"I'm 6:00am-6:00pm, but I'm crashing here tonight. Casey's my reverse shift. She'll be here in a bit. Cappie's your reverse at Midnight to noon."

"I'm noon to midnight? That's great." John was actually grateful for the hours given. He knew that meant the best chance for sleep, and visiting Olivia. "What did you bring?"

"Your favorite, and a few chili dogs for doofus of there." Elliot snored loudly from the couch. "Did you **_drug_** him?"

"I may have slipped a sleeping pill into his coffee...with the captain's blessing of course."

"That's dirty. How long has he been out?"

"Oh, 3 hours. Should wake up next Thursday." Fin laughed and nudged Elliot. The drugged man slept on. "He'll be fine. He's got about 36 more hours before they start to wear off...but I think I may have dropped two or three in there... Eh...he'll be fine. Just check his pulse every couple of hours...Sit, eat." Fin joined John at the table. "Any news from Cragen?"

"No. He's been at the hospital all day. I stayed around a while, while he got things in order. He had to set up paid leave for all of us to double team, get in touch with Olivia's insurance company, find someone to take her damned cat, and get Casey in on the watch. He wanted to keep it in the family, y'know?"

"Where's his wife?"

"She'll be by this weekend to give us a full two days off. Can't come now with the kids in school, work, and all that. Kathy's actually taking Olivia's cat for the time being." John opened the little boxes of food and started dishing them out between the two plates. He picked through the veggies and pulled the steamed broccoli from his plate, and placed it on Fin's, while Fin took the carrots and pushed them onto John's plate.

"So, Casey's here nights?"

"Yeah, but I didn't exactly want to wander around my place all night just to fall asleep at 4:30 when I need to be here at 6:00. Besides, she has court today. I told her I'd cover her for a couple of hours...let her get things together. Hopefully, we'll only be doing this a week. They're going to wake her up, and she's going to be pissed that we had to watch Elliot." John nodded as they ate.

"She's going to kick his ass."

"I'll pay good money for tickets to that show."

_

* * *

_

Don wandered up the stairs to Elliot's apartment, duffel slung over a shoulder, groceries in hand, and fear in his chest. It was Elliot Stabler they were eying, not a perp, not a criminal. His own squad had to keep an eye on the man. Deep down, Cragen knew Elliot wouldn't harm himself, but he knew that his team needed to stick together. It was more to keep all of them from going off the deep end, not just Elliot. If it were only Elliot he was worried about, he wouldn't have given him a full Two by Two watch. Don would have had one person with him at all times, but because everyone loved Olivia, they needed each other.

He knocked softly on Elliot's door.

"Hey, Cap. Come on in," John said, wearily. "Fin's asleep in the guest room, Casey is working in the kitchen, and I have a cab waiting to go home. Elliot had a cup of coffee earlier, and I snuck in those sleeping pills you "didn't" give me. He'll be up in a day or two. Three days tops."

"You put them all in?" Don checked Elliot's pulse and sighed.

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Munch..." he said under his breath. The older man stepped back, satisfied that Elliot wasn't in any danger.

"He's a marine Took him 3 full hours to fall asleep!"

"Get some rest. You're on paid watch duty for the moment. Don't worry about your vacation time."

"Thanks Captain." John left, his pillow tucked under his arm.

"Casey?" Don called into the kitchen. She looked like she was reading a file, but her eyes were still.

"Hi," she whispered. "Any change?"

"Nothing new to report. Why don't you get some rest?"

"Can't sleep. Tried. Failed."

"Cas-"

"She was doing so well, Don. She was out, having fun, living life for the first time, not living for the job. Olivia spent so many years hiding behind that badge that no one could get close. Just last week, we were out flirting with random guys at a club."

"She went clubbing?"

"I know, totally not Olivia. When she went under cover for those months, she really learned to relax. I mean, she went to a few protests, just enough to maintain her cover, but when she wasn't being Persephone, she was discovering who she was as Olivia. Did you know she hitch hiked to Seattle to go to an Elton John concert? Paid $300 for tickets from a scalper, and was almost arrested."

"Really...?"

"Yeah."

"So she wasn't all work and no play."

"No, she had fun."

"Good." Don relaxed into a chair. "She needed that. You need that."

"We all need to relax. When Olivia is ready for it, I suggest we say, 'Screw it,' and go on a vacation together. Camping, hiking, hell, even spend a week on a beach somewhere." Don chuckled. He could see how they'd look on a beach. He could see Elliot and Olivia splashing around like children, Fin attempting to surf, John looking like a washed-up jelly fish with the amount of sunblock he'd wear, and Casey would sit under an umbrella, reading.

"Under one condition; no books."

"Excuse me?"

"I can see you on the beach, laying on a towel in a bathing suit, under an umbrella, reading a book." Casey laughed. "If we do this, you can not bring any books."

"Deal. Now we just need Olivia to wake up," she said. It hit her once more that her best friend was not well, and tears flooded her eyes. "Excuse me," she said leaving the room. Don sighed. Elliot was basically mentally gone, Casey was pulling away, and next it would be John.

Don would have to be strong and keep them together. Olivia was the glue to the group. She held them together, made them feel like a family. She'd been undercover for a short time, and they weren't...the squad felt the loss like no other. Dani was a ghost of a replacement. Cassidy had stopped by the hospital to visit out of respect, but left quickly. He couldn't handle seeing her injured. Don knew they'd had a thing years ago, but turned a blind eye to it.

"Its been a while," Don said softly looking up. "But if you could get us through this, it would be nice. She's...she's too good for this, God. Olivia should have a chance at having a family. She's given so much helping others, God. She deserves better. Please, just get her through this."

* * *

Elliot blinked twice and looked at his watch. He'd been asleep for 48 hours straight. After a quick stop at the bathroom, he staggered into his kitchen. Casey was buttering toast while Don sipped at his coffee. 

"Oh, Jesus _Fucking_ Christ. You're double teaming me, Cap?" Don stiffled a laugh when he eyes the detective. Only one eye was actually open, the other was drooping closed as he looked around the room.

"Sit. Have coffee. Two days of sleep should make you pretty thirsty."

"_No fuckin' way_. Last time someone handed me a coffee, I blacked out and woke up two fucking days later." Elliot poured his own cup, and sniffed it a few times. "You drink some first." He attempted to sugar it, but missed the cup the first time.

"You needed sleep."

"Livia needed me-"

"She's still in a coma, Elliot. You couldn't-"

"Shoulda been there...hates being alone in the fuckin...where is she?"

"Hospital."

"She hates that place..." Elliot set the coffee on his table and sort of fell into a chair.

"We weren't allowed in for more than a minute each the first day; you were there. She had some problems and we're not allowed back in yet. It'll be another week before we can talk to her. Post-op infection." Elliot groaned and dropped his head on the table. "You gonna make it?"

"What did Munch **give** me...feels like a triple hang-over."

"Eat. It'll help."

"Fuckin...full goddamn two by two...toast?" he said raising a hand to Casey, who handed the toast over, no questions asked. He lifted his head just enough to munch the toast down. Casey roughed his hair lightly and left the room.

"We didn't do it just for you."

"_What_ are you moaning about?" he asked, still high as a kite from the sleeping pills.

"The double team is for all of us. We need you, we need each other. Got it?"

"Mmmfmmm." Elliot said. Stared at Don another second, and blacked out again, head first on the table.

"I'm going to hurt Munch...week's supply in one friggin' cup..."

* * *

The next time Elliot opened his eyes, it was dark and he was tucked in on the couch. He decided that listening before moving would be best this time around. He could hear Munch and Fin chatting on the far side of the room. They were hushed, almost muted. 

"...coma...another week..."

"She'll...kick our asses...by two." Elliot could make out a few words. He figured Olivia would be out a week, and when she woke up, they would be in deep with her for putting a double team on Elliot and drugging him.

"She's gonna kick your ass, Munch, for drugging me." Two pairs of dark eyes shot back at him. "You could've killed me."

"Nah, your pulse was always pretty strong. You fought those pills hard."

"Don't ever do it again."

"Got it."

"How long?"

"You've been in and out for two and a half days now. Having animated conversations with your pillow, who is apparently named Olivia." The Olivia Pillow flew across the room. "I just inform. You were the one confessing love-"

"That doesn't leave this room," Elliot said softly. "Not one person hears about it. It could make things really hard for Olivia when she wakes up."

"Man, we've all heard it already. Captain and Casey were here, too."

"Toast. Casey gave me toast."

"Yeah. Fin brought you a couple of chili dogs tonight in hopes that you'd be able to wake up and eat." Elliot sat up slowly.

"Jesus, what did you give me?"

"Eat, so it'll leave your system." Elliot downed a chili dog in 3 bites, and dove for the second. After the heavenly meal, he slugged back a soda, burped once and leaned back on the couch.

"How is she?" he asked, mentally joining the group at last.

"No change since this morning. Now that you're with the living, we'll take you up there. Go shower; you smell."

"Only reason I smell is because someone drugged my ass." John tossed the Olivia Pillow back at Elliot as he wandered past.

* * *

A/N: Did you find the Sitcom cookie? 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Remember Me

Author: Megan Faye

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.

* * *

It was Casey's favorite time of day; half an hour before sunrise. The sky was light, but there was no orange from the sun. It was beautiful and peaceful to her. Casey, in the three weeks since Olivia's fall, had gotten used to sleeping nights at Elliot's and days, long days, in court. Today, she was taking personal time off. Olivia was out of the drug induced coma now, but she was still out. Olivia was in a coma on her own now. 

When it was evident that Olivia wasn't waking on her own yet, Elliot stopped speaking, and fell into depression. He would only speak to Olivia. When he did, he sounded like there was nothing wrong, and they were in the squad room, joking across the desks. Only he was the only one taking, and he would only talk to Olivia. He was almost compeltely shut down outside of her hospital room. Maureen managed to get his attention for a few minutes, and he maintained eye contact for a few seconds, but then went back inside his mind. Kathy decided to bring the kids back to her mother's house until he was through the trauma.

"Morning," Don said, wandering into the kitchen.

"Hi," Casey sighed. She rubber her forehead in a tired manor.

"You doing okay?

"I guess. I just made coffee." Don stepped around her and poured a cup. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said softly. "Waiting was never easy for me."

"I know the feeling." There was a long silence. "Elliot'll be up soon."

"Casey-"

"Don-" they said in unison. "Sorry."

"You first."

"What are we going to do if she doesn't wake up?" Don sighed deeply.

"I dunno, Casey." Don fell back into a chair at the table and sipped the coffee. "It isn't something I want to think about."

"I'm terrified that my best friend isn't coming back," she said, voice shaking. Don stood and stepped over, and wrapped his arms around her. Casey sobbed into his chest, taking the comfort that she'd longed for since the whole ordeal started. "She's my best friend...I don't have anyone else..."

"You have Fin and Munch. And you've got me, Casey." Don tilted her chin up to look into her eyes. "You aren't alone, Casey. I promise." He pulled a fresh hankie from his pocket and wiped the tears that stung her cheeks. "I won't let you be alone," Don whispered, pulling her back into a gentle hug.

"Are you scared?" she asked.

"Terrified. I lost my wife, and now I'm losing the woman I think of as my child. I don't have any one to lean on, because everyone is leaning on me," he said, feeling the weight of the last three weeks caving in around him. "Its like when it snows in the woods, and it sticks to the trees. Its great until someone shakes the tree and all the snow caves in around you, and the only reason you went over to the tree was for shelter. I finally allowed my friends into my heart, and now I'm losing them, one by one; Marge, Alex, Olivia...Elliot..."

"I'm here."

"You're here."

"I'm here," she repeated, looking into his eyes for any kind of an answer to questions she didn't even know. Don pushed the blond hair from her face gently and tucked it back behind her ear. Casey reveled in his touch. The next thing Casey felt was a gently pressure of his lips on hers. He kissed her gently, almostly shyly, while her hands pushed their way up his chest and around his neck. His hands found themselves resting on her hips, and his thumbs touching the soft skin along her sides, driving him crazy. She shivvered under his touch. Casey tilted her head so his lips parted, and the kiss was deep and sensual.

Elliot, still basically catatonic wandered through the kitchen, poured coffee, spooned sugar in, and finally caught their attention when he stirred the hot liquid. Don and Casey dove apart, embarassed to be caught.

"I should get going," she said, puling her shirt down over the expose flesh of her flat stomach. "I need...to...um...I'm going to shower before we go visit Olivia."

"Okay," he said, visibly shaken by the experience. He sat to his coffee, which was a little cooler than it originally had been. He downed it quickly. "I have a feeling you won't tell anyone," he said to Elliot. "It would be my luck that the first thing you say out of this catatonic state is telling Munch and Fin that I was making out with Casey in your kitchen." Elliot conitued to stare aimlessly and sip at his coffee. "If it would bring you back, I'd be okay with it, El," he said as the shell of Elliot shuffled out of the room.

* * *

"Hey, Liv. Its hotter than hell out there, just how you like it," Elliot said, leaning back into the chair beside her bed. He propped his feet up on the bed and sipped at a hot chocolate. "They never get the hot chocolate right here. You're going to hate it, Liv. 

"Oh, man, Liv, you gotta wake up- you are missing the craziest stuff I've ever seen. I told you, Cragen's got me on this rediculous two-by-two, right?" He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Well, the double team has been getting a little closer than normal. I walked in on Cragen and Casey making out in my kitchen. Not shitting you!" There was a small crash in the hall as Munch dropped his coffee, and Cragen groaned loudly. "I guess they _are _listening in on us. You shouldn't let them play you like that Olii-" He stopped. "Liv? Did you just sqeeze my hand?"

"Elliot, what's up?" Cragen said, rushing the room with Munch.

"I was talking to her and she squezzed my hand. Do it again, Livvie. Give it a squeeze." There was gentle pressure on his finger-tips. "Now open your eyes."

"El-"

"Shut the hell up, Don. Olivia, listen to me. You're my partner. _I need you_. Open your eyes and_ help me_," he pleaded. If anything would tug at her, it would be the 'partner help me' card. Her eyelids fluttered open for a few seconds. "Oh, God, Livvie," he whispered touching her face. Her eyes closed again.

"I'm getting her doctor," Much called as he left the room.

"Liv, open your eyes, dammit!" Elliot squeezed her hand again. "Don't tease me," he pleaded. As the doctor made his way in, Liv's eyes opened again. She blinked and studied her surroundings.

"Ms. Benson? Can you hear me?" Olivia blinked and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"Is she deaf?"

"I need you guys to leave while I examine her," the doctor said, paging a nurse. Munch and Cragen lead Elliot from the room.

The two men didn't let him go until they were in the waiting room and he was sitting in a chair. Elliot put his head in his hands and sighed while Don called Casey to let her know that Olivia had woken up.

"She's awake, but she's not there," Elliot said hoarsely.

"She's been up for three minutes. You gotta give her time, man. When was the last time you ate?"

"I dunno, ask Romeo over there."

"All this time, and you heard and saw everything?"

"Yeah...just didn't feel like participating."

"Understandable." There was silence for a good 45 minutes while they waited. Eventually, Don got off the phone and joined the two in the less-than-comfortable chairs.

"How you gents doing?" Fin asked, wandering into the waiting room. "Brought you some coffee."

"Did he call you?" Elliot asked, nodding his head in Cragen's general direction.

"No, just figured I'd visit. But, you're ta-"

"She's awake," Munch said, grinning.

"You better not be-" The doctor cleared his throat and the men turned.

"Gentlemen, Ms. Benson's condition is improving...but," he started. Everyone stood. "Wow, you guys can be a little intimidating. Luck lady to have you guys around-"

"You were saying about her condition?"

"She's got partial amnesia. Basically, she can function. She can feed herself, sit up, speak, but all of her experiences, memories of places, people, friends, are gone." He allowed the words to sink in. "There is a basic memory of how things work, the name of basic objects, but its disconnected. It may take a while for Ms. Benson to be able to care for herself. Her medical coverage will allow her to stay here another few days, but now that she's awake, she will need either live-in help, or a long-term facility."

"She can stay with me," Elliot offered. "I don't need a double team, Cap. I'll take my vacation time, help her get settled in, and when she can be left alone, I'll come back to work. Okay?"

"Elliot-"

"I wasn't asking. I was informing. Big difference." Don sighed.

"How much time do you have saved up?"

"Well, I should have 4 weeks vacation, and 2 weeks paid sick leave coming."

"If she's not okay after 6 weeks, I'll take some time off so Elliot can get back to work," Munch offered. "I have 12 weeks coming. Jesus I haven't taken time off in a few years." Don rubbed his forehead.

"I'll get a temporary reassignment to cover you, Stabler. Go in to work and get things set up at your desk. I really don't like this."

"I didn't like you making out with Casey in my kitchen at 5:00 in the morning, but, Hey! You hardly hear me complaining," Elliot said, for sheer shock value. "I'm gonna go see Liv."

* * *

Olivia opened her big brown eyes. There was a man standing over her, smiling. He was attractive, and obviously liked her. She had no idea who he was, but there was something there, she could feel it. She looked into his eyes and felt safe. 

"Hey, Olivia."

"Hi," she said, shyly.

"How you feeling?"

"I don't know." She looked around the room. "So..."

"You look a hell of a lot better now than you did a week ago." She smiled lightly. "The doctor said you don't really remember much...about anything."

"I...uh...I'm not really sure..."

"Well, would you like me to tell you about you?" She nodded. "Your name is Olivia May Benson. You were born July 7th,1969, making you 37 for a few more months. Your eyes are a beautiful shade of brown. You're a hard-ass cop, but the sweetest lady I've ever met when it comes to the victims we protect. You're favorite color is green."

"Where do I live?"

"New York city. For a while, you'll be living with me, if you are okay with that. You've always thought I lived in a rat-hole, but Cragen and Munch sort of...cleaned it up. Kathy can bring your goddamn cat over if you like."

"I have a cat?"

"You went under cover last year, and when you got home, your really missed having all the animals. You were having a pretty crappy week, so Don went out and adopted a gray kitten for you. The thing is huge. Turns out the cat is a Russian Blue; big and soft. His name is Shadow, he's your best buddy, and really isn't too fond of me. I'm the one who took him to get fixed." Olivia smiled blankly. "Liv?" she continued to look out the window. "Olivia?"

"Hm?"

"Do you even know who I am?" he asked softly.

"I know that you know me pretty well, and you make me feel safe."

"Allow me to introduce myself," he said, taking her hand in his. "I'm your best friend, Elliot Stabler."

"Elliot," she said softly.

* * *

Casey pushed the wheel chair through the corridors quickly. They were behind, and losing never sat well with Casey Novak. She slid along the tile floors as she turned Olivia's chair around and started back toward the room. A nurse fussed at them, and dodged the laughing women. At the end of the hall way, Don Cragen was waiting. 

"You are never gonna beat us, Stabler!" Casey hollered, sliding in and touching Don's hand just before Elliot and Fin could get there. "You owe US Milkshakes in the caffiteria-"

"Are you insane? This woman has been in a coma for 3 weeks! She's scheduled to go home in 2 hours and you are holding wheel chair races in the hall ways!?"

"We're trying to-"

"What? Put her back in the coma?" The doctor threw his hands up and stormed away. A nurse chuckled.

"He lost the bet," she said. "We had money on this race, and that guy bet on your little boy friends there."

"Serves him right, betting against Novak. She's too stubborn to lose."

"Now, about those milkshakes?" Casey said, grinning.

"Milkshakes are good, right?" Liv asked softly as Elliot rolled her wheel chair into the elevator.

"They are the best."

"I thought coffee was the best," she said, confused.

"Milkshakes in the summer, coffee in the winter. You'll like them. Hell, you always get a chocolate shake when we go out for burgers." She nodded.

"I want something that I've never tried."

"Its all new to you-"

"I want something that you thought I hated, so I can form an opinion of my own," she said, sternly.

"Okay then." They left the elevator, Casey and Don leading the way, chatting aimlessly about a movie they'd gone to the night before. Fin had seen it, and they were leaving out a big chunk of the middle. He suspected that they missed it completely. As they rounded the last corner to the cafeteria, Olivia looked up at him. "What's up?"

"From now on, please don't tell me that I already like or hate something. I want to find out on my own."

"Okay," he agreed. "But there are something I know you hate because I was there the first time you tried them, and was cleaning up throw up from my car. They usually involved alcohol."

"Noted. What's something out of the ordinary for me?"

"Asking me to order for you for one," he joked. "She'd like to try a strawberry shake with extra whipped cream. I'll have the same."

"Same all around?" Cragen asked. They all agreed, and Elliot pulled out a credit card. As the shakes were handed to them, everyone waited for Olivia's reaction. Her eyebrows shot up.

"This is amazing," she whispered. She sucked in a big gulp.

"Really? You never used to like them," Casey said.

"Wasn't because of taste."

"Why don't we leave it at that?" Elliot said, shooting the others looks.

* * *

"We're not telling her about her parents." 

"Elliot, that's a dangerous game you're playing," Don warned.

"We'll tell her wwhat she needs to know; her mother was in college when she was born, died in a subway fall, and she's never met her father. She expressed that she never wanted to meet him either. That's it. If she asks more, tell her that you don't know, she never told you before. You got it?" Elliot could be forceful when he wanted to be.

"I can't lie to her, Elliot," John said.

"Then deflect to me. She doesn't need that in her life. She doesn't need to know what her father is."

"Fine," Casey said, agreeing.

"I'm in," Fin muttered. "I don't like it, but I'm in."

"You're going to hurt her, and I don't want anything to do with it," Don said. "I won't lie to her. I'll send her in your direction if she asks me."

"I'm with Cragen," Munch said.

"All right. Those of you who are in, let's get it straight. Serena had Olivia when she was in college, raised her, and died in a subway fall. Serena never mentioned a father until Olivia was an adult and she always told us she never wanted to meet him. Nothing More." They nodded.

"Mr. Stabler," the doctor called. Elliot left the group. "I'm releasing her to you. If she complains of extreme headache, dizziness, or faints at all, bring her in immidiatly."

"Okay."

"She'll be out when she'd changed."

"When do I need to bring her back in?"

"A week from today. Can you do that?" Elliot nodded and signed the stack of forms thrust at him by Olivia's nurse. Elliot looked up when Olivia walked out.

"You ready?" Olivia nodded and the groups started toward the elevator. She was still weak, so they walked slowly.

"So, are you guys always together?" she asked.

"Pretty much," Fin said. "Munchie here's my partner at the 1-6th, Elliot is yours, Don is our big, bald boss, and Casey is the ADA that works out cases. She's also our Cappie's Lady Love." Elliot, Munch and Cragen slapped him in the shoulder. "What? Geeze! Sorry!"

"We're like famile, but we're not actually related," Elliot informed. They'd grazed their relationships before, but never enough to give Olivia an idea of who they were to her. "We're together 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, on a normal week."

"And a not so normal week?"

"20 hours a day, 7 days a week."

"Or more."

"Usually more."

"We're pretty close," she said. The group looked around at each other and nodded.

"Well," Cragen said as the elevator stopped. "I'm in the north garage with Casey."

"We're in the south garage," Fin said.

"We'll take a cab," Elliot said, leading Olivia opposite the rest of the group. She was suddenly nervous. "Come on."

"They aren't coming with us?" she asked weakly. Her voice was high and scared.

"Nah. They'll by tomorrow night."

"Why aren't they coming now?"

"Olivia, you have nothing to be afraid of. We're going to my apartment. Kathy's already brought Shadow and his cat paraphinilia over there. He's going to be excited to see you!" She sighed and allowed him to lead her to the front of the hospital. Soon, they were in a taxi headed toward his apartment. Olivia was silent for the whole trip, staring out at the city like it was her first visit. Elliot was glad that the rain over the previous days had let up. Olivia loved sunny spring days. The upside of the amnesia to Elliot was how free she seemed. Things were new, she didn't have any of the filth they'd seen in her mind. He longed for the days where the worst he'd seen was his own father. Olivia only had good now; friends, new foods to try, and now she was going home. Her wrist was still in a brace, but that only was a few more days.

"Elliot?" she said, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"I want to remember. I see things that I know I haven't tried before, and for a second, there is something familiar, but only a second."

"Like remembering a dream."

"I guess."

"No worries, Liv-"

"You guys keep calling me that-"

"Nickname. Do you like it?" She nodded. Elliot leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Good, you always did." She smiled an pushed him away.

* * *

More to come!!! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: I have (and all of you do too) to thank someone. I had hit a Mega writer's block, and a review on a message board from a friend was very inspiring.**

**Liv2Luv16 wrote to me:** "Megan, my friend, you r such a awesome writer. everything u write turns to gold, i love all ur stories and u should def continue w/ the story about Olivia and her twin. so if u don't see me reviewing on then i'll post it on here. keep writing, and i'll keep reading b/c i want to know what happens on "remember Me" "

**Thank you!!! You have no idea how much it helped me knowing a friend is reading :-) Brought a tear to my eyes.**

* * *

Several days went by, and there wasn't anything that had changed. Elliot's oldest daughter, Maureen, spent the weekend with Olivia and her father, helping Liv get reaquainted with life. The two went for walks, and did a little shopping. Olivia was happy to get out, and Maureen seemed to be quite patient with Olivia. Elliot called her cell phone 6 times over the first hour they were out. Olivia rolled her eyes and just accepted it as his normal behavior. Maureen yelled at him.

After Maureen left on Sunday night, Olivia finally toured his whole apartment. At first, she'd just hung out in the living room, kitchen, and her bedroom. There was Elliot's room, and a small study where Maureen would sleep when she visited. There was Elliot's lap top, and a couch, and against the wall was a tall black piece of furnature that stuck in Olivia's mind.

"Oh, its a p-"

"Piano," she said, opening the key cover. She sat and stared at the keys. "Do I play?"

"You tell me." Olivia fumbled with the keys a moment. She closed her eyes and let her fingers work the keys on their own and the apartment was filled with the beautiful music of Elton John, performed by Olivia. She sang along, not missing a word or a note. Elliot's eyes were wide, and mouth hung open. She'd never sat at his piano in all th years they'd worked together. She didn't even own a piano. And she _hated_ listening to Elton John. "Olivia, that was-"

"You liked it?"

"That was brilliant. Do you remember anything else?"

"I didn't remember it; it just...happened."

"Let it _happen _again!" She played a song he could barely recognize. It was one Maureen had been listening to on the radio a few weeks before Olivia's fall. She must have been working on it before.

"I heard it today with Maureen, and it got stuck in my head."

"You can play anything you hear."

"I guess."

"Olivia Benson, you could have had an incredible career in music had you wanted it."

"I guess I didn't want it." Elliot wanted to know why, but was afraid of bring up bad memories first.

"I'm glad you didn't. You're the best cop I've ever met." He kissed the top of her head. He'd done it a few times before, just a gesture that she'd always waved off before. She reached up and cupped her hand over his, where it was resting on her shoulder. "Keep playing...all you like, Babe."

"Elliot?"

"Hmm?"

"What were we?"

"We were partners, friends, and you were always like family to me." She nodded and turned her eyes back to the piano.

* * *

"Elliot!" Liv screamed. Within seconds, Elliot was in her room, throwing on the lights.

"Liv? What's wrong?" He pulled her into a hug, if anything, to stop her shaking. She was breathing heavily, shaking hard, and her eyes were wide with fright.

"Elliot, I saw..."

"It was a dream, Olivia," he soothed. "Just a dream."

"They were so young," she cried. "Just kids...it looked like they were dead."

"Shhh," he whispered. "Liv, you were a cop a long time. You saw pretty horrific things, you may just be remembering things."

"I don't want to...to remember that," she gasped. "I want to remember you, and my life, but, God, what did I do?"

"You helped people who needed you."

"I didn't hurt them...?" she asked.

"God! No, Liv, you gave them back their lives by putting the people who DID do that in jail." Her breathing steadied, and she snuggled into his chest for comfort. Elliot maneuvered them into her bed gently so she could fall back to sleep. He stroked her hair and hummed a little tune while she rested in his arms. He thought back to the times he'd held his children after a night-mare, and his wife after a rough day. Elliot was glad to be a comfort to the woman he'd considered his best friend and more. She was breathing deeply know, and he figured she was asleep, so he untangled himself from her arms to leave.

"Don't leave," she pleaded. Elliot pulled the blankets tight around them and put his arms around her where they were only moments before.

"Sleep, Livvie," he whispered, fiddling with a lock of hair that had found its way into her eyes.

* * *

"Stabler," Don called. He waved Elliot into the office and closed the door. Elliot took a Red Vine from the tub and knawed aimlessly on it. "What are you doing here?"

"Maureen is with Olivia, and I needed to grab a few files."

"I don't want her seeing _any_thing work related until she's herself again." Don's chair creaked in protest as he sat and leaned back. "How's our girl?"

"She started having nightmares last week, but by morning, she's forgotten all about them."

"Wish I could."

"Yeah, Cap. We all do. So, you and Casey-"

"Stabler-"

"I'm just asking!"

"It was one kiss, we needed each other that morning."

"You still need each other. She's good for you!" Don flung a paper ball at him. "You look happy together, Don."

"How is she, Elliot? Really?" Elliot sighed and the smile faded.

"She's not Olivia. I mean, she is, but that confidant woman who held this motly crew together is gone. Liv's scared. She's afraid of being alone, and afraid of going anywhere by herself. And she doesn't understand why. She has no idea that she was a cop, and that she's seen all these horrible things that can happen to a beautiful woman when she wanders around alone. Its like she knows deep down, but she can't word it. I've taken her to and from the news stand a block away, and at that point she wants to just go home. Olivia is hiding, and doesn't want to even go outside...not since the nightmares started. But she honestly doesn't even remember them the next morning."

"She has no idea?" Elliot shook his head.

"Olivia is terrified of people." Elliot rubbed his forehead. "I've gotten her to get the paper in the morning, explaining that jogging was always her favorite thing to do to relieve stress-"

"I thought wall climbing was."

"It is. I'm taking her to do that tomorrow. I tried to get her to come swimming, but, as it turns out, she's terrified of water."

"Olivia is afraid of the water?"

"Guess so. I never tried to get her into a pool before. I mean, I've invited her when I had the kids for the weekend, but she always turned me down." Don smiled lightly.

"Elliot, give her time. She might have things coming back and they're disconnected memories of bodies, perps, crime scenes. She's been a cop so long, and seen New York's worst offenders and offenses."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia fell into a comfortable routine. She'd wake him up in the morning by playing the piano. At first she felt guilty, not realizing it echoed, but he asked her to play it when ever she wanted. Within a week, she'd watch the clock and sit down at 9:05 to play. His alarm didn't go off until 9:15, so he was usually awakened by her music. He loved it. The music every morning made his day seem to go much more smoothly than he thought.

He'd cook breakfast while she took a walk. She would set out on her own every morning to get the paper. Olivia started to like the feel of independance. Elliot would watch from the window most days, as she asked him to. She was still scared, and never wandered farther than the news stand down the street, where Elliot could see her from the fire escape.

She set out, jogging down the sidewalk as the morning sun beat down on her mostly bare shoulders. The tank shirt she wore was form-fitting and she enjoyed the feeling of the city air on her skin. It was now mid-June and nice; not too hot, not too cold. Her feet smacked the pavement as she ran. It felt like freedom. She would pay for the morning paper and store it in her back-pack she wore, and turn her music loud on Elliot's MP3 player. Most days, Liv would get a banana shake at the shop on her way back up, but today, she wanted to run. Besides, Elliot would have breakfast ready soon, and she liked his cooking.

He told her once that his cooking was far from good, and she was crazy for liking it. Elliot would microwave frozen meals, and call it dinner, and Olivia thought it was to die for. Not that he'd argue; a woman he cared about loved his cooking. Elliot would never argue with that.

"Brought you back a paper," she announced as she opened the door to his apartment. Elliot yelled a 'Thanks' from the kitchen.

"Thanks. Didn't want to burn your eggs."

"You made eggs?"

"Just as promised; you get the paper, and I will do real cooking." She laughed and took the plate from him as he brought them to the breakfast table. "Olivia, do you remember anything from last night?"

"I remember that I woke up, and you held me. You made me feel safe again," she whispered.

"You don't remember the dreams?"

"I did when I first woke up this morning, but the more I try to remember, the faster it goes away." Elliot poured a cup of coffee, added sugar and cream, and set it in front of her. She stirred the spoon around aimlessly as she thought on her night's sleep, or lack-there-of. "Elliot, tell me more about me."

"I told you all I know about your personal life. We're headed to a place you spent a lot off weekends at."

"Don't change the subject."

"I didn't."

"I asked about my life, you said you told me about my personal life. What about my work life? My parents? must have had parents." Elliot sighed. "Tell me."

"Your mom died in an accident a few years back."

"And my dad?"

"Never met him."

"You never met him?" Elliot rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"You never met him, Olivia. He was never a part of your life, and you have always wanted it that way. Your mother didn't even know his name. It was something that you _hated_ talking about, and never really came to terms with. I don't like telling you the things about your life that you hate."

"Elliot," she started, looking into his eyes. "I need to know."

"Even if all that it brings you is pain?"

"Its me. Its part of me, and don't you dare take that from me." He sighed.

"Your mother was walking out of the library. She was in college or something, and she was raped. Nine months later, you were born. After that, she got drunk, for the next 18 or 20 years. You grew up taking care of a drunk mother, no father, and she never loved you. You've never known any kind of true honest love. Is that what you wanted?"

"I was a nistake," she whispered.

"No, you weren't a mistake, Olivia Benson. You have done so much good in your life, and I hate that I had to tell you about them."

"You should have told me before."

"Olivia-"

"I'm having these dreams because my father is a rapest."

"No, you are having these dreams because you work with rape vicitms, and you get them the help they need. Never, Olivia, _never_ think that you are less of a person because of your parents. Over the last 8 years, Don Cragen has been more of a parent to you than your mother _ever_ was. You have him to look up to, and he loves you as much as we all do, Livvie." Olivia felt tears streaming down her cheeks, but made no move to wipe them. "You once said to me, 'Half my genes are drunk and the other half are violent and cruel.' And Do you want to know what I said?"

"What?"

"Look how great you turned out. Made you cry then,too, I think."

"I just...why did she keep me?"

"How could anyone not want you around, Liv?" he said, cupping her face gently. "You are one of the strongest women I've ever met, and no one, I mean _no one_, does this job as good as you. No one can read me the way you do, Liv," he told her as gently as he could muster. "You know, its Sunday. Would you like to come to church?"

"Did I go before?"

"Never."

"Sure."

"Wonderful," he said, smiling.

* * *

Olivia blinked her eyes as she looked around the dark room. Elliot had taken to sleeping there next to her, so she could sleep through the night, but tonight hadn't been a night-mare. Tonight was a memory resurfacing, and it was a pleasent one. A blond woman was laughing with her, and she felt relaxed. It wasn't long, just this woman's face, laughing with Olivia.

"Elliot," she whispered.

"Mmm..." Elliot groaned, turning to face her. "Y'kay?" he asked.

"I had a dream."

"S'okay, Lv," he mumbled.

"I saw someone, we were laughing, and she had blond hair."

"K'thy?"

"No."

"C's'y?"

"No, she had blue eyes...I think...do you have any pictures of our friends?" Elliot rubbed his face and sat up. "Please, before I forget her," she pleaded. Elliot lead her into her bedroom and pulled a photo album out of a box he'd brought over from her place a few days eariler. He wanted to show her before, but never got around to it. Talking seemed easier for where they were.

"Blonde hair," he said, flipping through her pictures. "Is that her?"

"Yes! It was her. We were laughing over a cup of coffee, and she was happy."

"You two had coffee together after every win," he said, smiling and wiping sleep from his eyes. "Can you remember anything?"

"I can remember the dream."

"Did you say her name in the dream, Liv?" She closed her eyes and relaxed, picturing things. There was coffee, and she was happy. In her mind she felt that something good had just happened, like Elliot said, and she remembered-

"Alex..."she whispered. And the dream faded away. "Her name is Alex...?"

"Yeah," Elliot said happily, very awake now. "What else?"

"Alex..." she sighed. "That's it."

"But that's something."

"Something," she repeated.

"More will come, Olivia. Let's get back to bed." She nodded and allowed him to lead her into his bedroom. "Olivia, you okay?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up," she offered.

"Never be sorry. You got something back. It may be small, but that's just the beginning, Liv. You have to start some where. Hold on to that, and more will come."

"Alex."

"Alex."

* * *

Chapter 5 in the works!!

And Liv2Luv16! OMG that was soo cool of you to leave a review the way you did!! It TOTALLY brought me back and helped me write this chapter in like, an hour ::::bows to you:::::: uRock!!!


	5. Chapter 5

The bag had asked for trouble by its mere exsistance. It stood there, mocking her, begging to be kicked, punched, and abused by the woman in padded gloves. The tall blue-eyed man held it steady as the abuse continued. She had expressed the need to vent after only gatting a single peice of herself back. Olivia started hitting sloppily before pure animalistic instinct kicked in, and her punches became practiced and graceful. Elliot grunted as they gained force, knocking the bag into him. There was fury in her eyes as she yelled with each kick. Sweat poured from her forehead, and with a swift movement, she kicked as hard as she could, knocking Elliot over. The punching bag teetered on its stablizers.

"Goddamn, Liv."

"You okay?"

"You got a _lot_ of issues to work out." Olivia gave him a dirty look.

"_I_ was taken away from _me_. He stole more of me...from me...than I want to admit. I'm pissed," she said, assaulting the bag again.

"That's our girl," Munch said, leaned against the gym room door frame. "You're starting to act more like the Olivia we all love and fear the wrath of," he teased. "How ya doin?"

"Got something last night."

"Oh?"

"Alex."

"That's fantastic. Brought you work-a-holics a slurpee. Fin said you were working out here today." He handed the frozen soda to the sweaty detectives. "A Cherry Coke for you, Olivia, and a regular for Blue-eyes." Elliot sucked down a gulp. Olivia, who had been working out at the precinct gym since sun-up, sucked in a huge gulp. "Slow down!" Munch warned.

"Why-ohhh...jeSUS!" she whined, grabbing her temples. "What-oh God-what the HELL!?"

"Brain Freeze," Munch and Elliot said in unison.

"Tried to warn you-"

"Shut it, Stabler," she growled. The two men laughed.

"C'mon. Let's work on your self defense. See what your body is telling you to do-" Before he finished, he was face-planting the mat, her knee on his shoulder, and he found that even he, a U.S. Marine didn't want to move. It wasn't that he couldn't, he didn't want to hurt her after a head injury. She wasn't exactly supposed to be doing this.

"Careful, Elliot."

"Okay, that's good..." he said, wriggling in her grip. "Now, let me up."

"In a Minute. Munch, there's a camera in my bag. Can you-"

"No!"

"I would be more than happy to, Ms. Benson." John Munch was more than happy to get the camera from her duffel on a nearby bench.

"Liv? Liv, let me up...Olivia-" She laughed a minute as John pulled out a camera. "Don't You Dare, Munch-" the flash silenced him.

"Blackmail?" Liv nodded. "I'll go post these now," John said, he shut the gym door as he left, laughing.

"Okay, now lemme up." Getting tired of this, he flipped her off, and pinned her. "That wasn't nice, Livvie."

"No fair, I'm injured!" she laughed. He continued to hold her, but he eased thepressure on her wrists as the laughter faded. The smile she held was warm, and flirty. He knew her "flirty" smile from under cover assignments. Olivia was flirting with him! He looked into the beautiful brown eyes that he'd come to lookfor when he needed faith in anything.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No," she replied shyly.

"You let me get you down, Liv. Can't let an attacker do that," he whispered into her ear, hot breath teasing her neck.

"You attacking me, Elliot?"

"I might," he teased. Olivia craned her neck upwards the last inch, and two sets of lips met. She was sweet and her lips softer than he'd imagined. Elliot knew it was wrong. When Olivia's memory returned, if it returned, she'd hate him for this. But before his mind could warn him, he heart won the battle, and he released her hands, and allowed her to roll them over. She was straddling his hips, kissing him with no abandon, no worries of what could happen.

Elliot realized finally; Olivia was free.

* * *

Don rubbed his forehead. He was short two of his best, they had 15 more cases than they could handle properly, and Dani Beck had returned. She was not as green this time around, but her history with Stabler made him increasingly nervous. She was tough, and could handle herself. Don wouldn't let her near Olivia if he could avoid it. Benson was like a daughter to him, and she was happy. Dani could only make things worse. At least, he was able to spend time with Casey. It was all work, but she was there. He could see her. She would bring him decent coffee, and he'd order in lunch.

"Don?" Casey said, peeking into the office.

"Come in," he said, smiling.

"Brought Coffee," she offered. "Long month..." Casey sipped at her coffee as she set his on the desk. Don shut the door to his office.

"I know we're all over-worked, but Elliot will be back in two weeks."

"We need to talk."

"I know."

"What do we have?" Don set his coffee back on the desk after a decent sip, and closed the door. The blinds in his office were still closed, as it wasn't even 6:00 in the morning yet. Already, Elliot and Olivia were there in the precinct gym, and Munch's coat was on the back of his chair. They were near, and he wanted a little privacy. Don took the chair next to her.

"I don't know what we have, Casey," he said, taking her hands in his. "But I think we should try to find out."

"I'd like that."

"Case, when I kissed you, I felt something." He kissed her hands, and his eyes closed involunterily.

"I felt it, too, Don. But...you have to promise me one thing." He looked up at her, worry in his eyes. "We leave work here, and we leave us at home."

"I can do that," Don said. He sighed and moved back behind his desk and picked up a file that they were working on. "So, we're at work. Let's work." Casey smiled and chuckled lightly to herself. "Are we sure Lauren Riles isn't lying about John and/or Jim Lanix?"

"John Lanix managed to incriminate himself enough, and prove her story. John's only alibi was his brother who was across town, robbing a store, when Jim said they were both "at home" watching a movie. The store he robbed was 4 blocks from where Riles was raped. She was raped at the time of the robbery." Don looked over the case file.

"They're twins. No way to tell who did the rape."

"Ah, but there is."

"Oh?"

"One robbed, the other raped. Whomever confesses to the robbery first is your rapest." Don sighed.

"Its not enough for a conviction."

"No, but say John says he robbed the store. Jim said he didn't. We offer Jim a deal, if he tells the truth. The one who confesses to robbery knows that a conviction for armed robbery is a lot shorter than rape." Don nodded. "So, when he says, 'I was at the store,' all we need is for him to confess. The other one will see this, and know that his own twin brother is setting him up, and also confess to the robbery, and this time, he'll give incredible detail of what he did at the store, and we have the other on rape, AND on purgery."

"You're good."

"Not that good. It may not work. We need to bring them in, separate them, and hope their too stupid to ask for a lawyer."

"I'll have Beck and Cassidy on it as soon as she wakes up and he comes in-"

"Cassidy is here?" Casey asked, raising an eye-brow. "Is that a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"History with Liv-" Her mouth closed suddenly. She'd said a lot more than she should of, and outed Olivia's past relationship.

"Speak up, Counselor."

"Brian and Olivia..." Don frowned. "Well, Beck and Stabler-"

"More than Enough." Casey shook her head and stood. "Go home, Case."

"Its almost 7:00 in the morning. What makes you think I haven't been there already?"

"You wore that yesterday, and you look like you've been up as long as I have." Casey nodded as she left. Don sipped at the coffee she brought. There was ahint of cinnimon swirled in. Don smiled to himself. _'Maybe some good can come of the accident_,' he thought to himself.

* * *

Olivia opened her eyes as the sun filtered in through Elliot's window. She smiled and inhaled the sweet scent of coffee brewing and listened to the morning sounds of his apartment for a few moments before shoving her cat off Elliot's bed. She listened for Elliot. but it was quiet in the apartment. She peeked her head into the livingrom, and found that the window was open. He was standing on the fire escape,leaning on the railing, staring out at the city. Olivia pulled a robe on over herself and a pair of pajama bottoms before joining him.

Elliot didn't hear her come out, he just stared. He was lost in thought. Olivia sat back and just admired the built man before her. He was more than just handsome; he was gorgeous. His smile made her heart pound in her chest; it had since the first time she remembered seeing it. But he looked so sad in the morning sun.

"Penny for your thoughts," she said, bringing him into reality.

"I'm sorry...about yesterday. I should have had more control." Olivia wrapped her arms around him from behind into a gentle hug. "Olivia, if your memory decides to pop into your head suddenly, you're going to hate me."

"No, I'm not."

"The Liv I knew never wanted this-"

"Elliot, the minute I saw you, I recognised you. I couldn't tell you what your name was, or anything we'd said or done before. I just knew you were there for me, and you would keep me safe." He turned and hugged her. "I can't say what I wanted before, but trust me to know what I want now." Elliot dropped a kiss on her forehead, and another on her cheek.

"What's that?" he asked as he kissed his way down her jaw.

"This..." she whispered into his ear just as their lips met.

"Livia," he said, pulling back. "You gotta know, I love you. I've loved you for so long."

"I know," she said, grinning. "You...sort of moaned it at the gym yesterday morning...and again last night. But, um, last night...you pretty much yelled it." He blushed and breathed a little laugh.

"Sorry. Got a little carried away, babe." Elliot took her hand and lead her back into the apartment and to the kitchen. He poured two coffees, creamed and sugared them.

"Thanks," she said, sipping the warm liquid of Life. A flash came into her mind:

_"You feel like a cup of coffee?" Olivia asked Casey_

_"Every second of every day."_

"Liv?"

"Give me your phone," she said, setting the coffee down. He handed her the cell and she started flipping through the names. When she reached the one she was looking for, she punched a little button. "Casey? Its Olivia...Benson."

"_Hey Liv! How are you feeling today_?"

"I need to know something."

"_Shoot_."

"We were sitting in your office one night and I asked you if you felt like a cup of coffee. And you said Every Second of-"

"_Every Day_," Casey finished. Olivia closed her eyes, pushing back tears. "_Olivia, that's great. Its coming back little bits at a time_."

"What was next?"

"_You went to get coffee, and that's all I remember. I was attacked. But before_-"

"Thanks. Can we talk more later?" she said softly, and defeated.

"_Olivia," _Casey urged. "_You saved my life. I'd have died if you hadn't come in when you did, and we'd have both been killed if you had been there with me. You, Detective, are a life saver. Ask Elliot_." Olivia wiped her eyes and muttered something back at Casey and snapped the phone closed.

"Liv, what happened?"

"Casey was attacked when I went to get coffee. You tell me that Alex was shot shortly after my only memory of her. What's next?"

"Probably you'll remember me getting shot in the arm, Munch getting shot in the ass, and you going under cover for the Feds. Look, you can't blame yourself for things that you don't even remember dealing with. Its in the past. You have two solid memories of people now. You'll get more. I promise."

"How do you know?"

"Because its my biggest prayer for you...and my biggest fear."

"Why?"

"You have a totally new outlook on life, you're a lot happier now than before, and you don't remember most of the victims you worked with. You have a clean start. I have half a mind to pack up, sell this dump, buy a farm in Montana and keep you as far away from who you used to be...no more vics...no more perps...no more dead bodies. You would have the life I know you wanted." She settled into his arms.

"What I want is to know who the hell I am, Elliot."

"Just give it time, Liv."

* * *

Sorry for the delay and short chapter. I have had a Long Week. All is good now, and I remembered where this story was heading, and why I was going there :-)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry its taken me so long, I've had major writer's block. I found inspiration at my piano earlier today and was able to work through it. Hope this is okay.

* * *

Elliot hated leaving her alone. Cassidy was back in his own unit, and Elliot would be back with Beck. He was less than thrilled at the idea, but his 6 weeks was up, and Olivia was well enough on her own. He sat at his desk, waiting for Dani to get her sleeping ass out of the cribs and into work. It wouldn't be too bad working with Dani, but he had 'history' with her that he didn't want to relive, now that Olivia had made it clear that she wanted him. It had taken a full 8 years, and a fall down a flight of stairs, but she was a happy, well-adjusted...amnesiac. Elliot mentally groaned. 

"Hey, Stabler," came a call from up above.

"Is that you, God?" he joked.

"Shut the hell up. How's your partner?" Dani thumped down the stairs. "Anything new in the last few weeks?"

"She has a few disconnected moments; a case here, coffee with someone there. Nothing big though. Her doctors think that these were more significant moments in her life." He sighed. None of them seemed significant to him, other than Alex and Casey. How eating dinner with his wife and children could be one of the more important things in her life, he didn't quite understand.

"She still hate me?"

"Yeah, but its just a gut instinct. Basic feelings from before are there. She loved me the minute she opened her eyes."

"Hurray for you." Elliot rolled his eyes.

"What's the case?"

"Don't worry about it. Almost done."

"We used to work pretty well together, Beck. I think for the time being we can set aside our differences, and do the fuckin job."

"Nice language."

"Screw you."

"No thanks. Pretty lousey last time." She was giving him a death glare that would kill most men.

"Look, I said I'm sorry. I wanted things to work out, but guess what?"

"Things don't always work out. Olivia came back, and you didn't even have the balls to tell me."

"Its complicated, Daniella."

"You don't get to call me that. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

"Great."

"Wonderful," she countered.

"Terrific."

"Shut it."

"You Shut it!"

"_Ass hole_!"

"Bitch!"

"Stabler! Beck! Office,** 5 minutes ago**," Cragen thundered. The two, who were now standing nose to nose over the desks groaned and wandered in. "Sit your asses down and don't even think about saying a word. I don't want to write the two of you up, but so help me, if you bring your little lover's quarrel into my squad room, The Wrath Of Liv isn't going to be the worst thing you've ever faced. You you understnad? And I said NOT A WORD! You are allowed to nod at this point!" His voice was dangerously loud as he towered over the two detectives. They both nodded. "Good. Stabler, you will treat Beck with respect, and you will back her every move. Beck, you will fill in Stabler on what he's missed the last two months and then you will back his every move. And I _do not mean that in any way other than as partners!_"

"Yes sir," Elliot said.

"I understand sir."

"Get the _hell_ out of my office."

"After you," Elliot said, bowing sarcastically to Dani.

"No, please, after you."

"I insist-"

"JUST! Go!" Don thundered. The two stumbled out of the office and passed passionately angry glares.

"All you had to do was call me," she said softly as she passed him and headed to her locker.

"Dani," he said, rubbing his forehead. "I'm sorry. I wanted to, but I didn't know what to say. I thought it was just the one night, and when you wanted more, I..."

"Ran and hid behind your partner?"

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Look," she said, staring ice sicles at him. "I've moved on, and I'm doing just great. I don't need your pitty."

"I know you don't need or want pitty. Wasn't what I offered. I was just saying I'm sorry that I hurt you. You deserve better than that," he said softly as he dropped into his desk.

"Don't worry about it. Cassidy and I have moved on from you and Olivia." Elliot thought back. It hadn't occured to him that Olivia did the same thing with Brian that he had with Dani. "Oh, that one's taken care of. He's being sentenced today. This one needs a once-over. We're pretty much stuck on it," she said dropping a file onto his desk.

"Thanks."

"Any time."

"Is all forgiven?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of the new file.

"Yeah, I guess. You're still an ass."

"And you're still a bitch."

"As long as we're clean," she said, grinning.

"So...you and Cassidy?"

"Yeah. He's a good guy."

"One of the better to come through here. Good luck with that."

"You and Olivia?"

"Nothing official yet, but-"

"Don't you dare deny anything. You've been in-love with her for years-"

"Elliot?" Olivia said from the door, smiling warmly at him. Elliot blushed to his ears.

"Hey, Benson," Munch called, passing her on his way in. "What brings you down to the 1-6? You miss us terribly?"

"No, Elliot left this on the kitchen table. Thought he'd need it." She handed him the file, and grinned down at him. "Good morning?"

"Eh," he relpied. "I miss vacation."

"I miss work," she said, looking around the room. "Elliot, can we talk a minute?"

"Sure," he said. They made their way up to the roof. "You okay?"

"You're in-love with me?" Elliot turned red again and turned and looked over the edge. "Elliot, how long?"

"Jesus, I don't know." he said, sighing. "Long time...long before Kathy left.

"I know you love me, I felt it the minute I looked in your eyes. But in-love? This changes things a bit, doesn't it..."

"Does it?"

"Not for me, hell we've been sleeping together for damn near a month now," she said seductively. Elliot planted a kiss on her lips. She sighed into his sweet taste as his arms pulled her closer. Olivia tilted her head to deepen the kiss. He tasted like coffee and bagel. "El," she whispered as he trailed his lips down her jaw and onto her neck.

"Hmmm," he moaned, still kissing her.

"I can't stay," she said stepping back. "Doctor's appointment and lunch with Casey."

"I thought you were done with all that weekly visit garbage..."

"Different doctor. Its marked on my calender that I need to make my yearly-"

"Women's Doc?"

"Yeah."

"Go...don't wanna hear about that..." Elliot shuddred, bringing a light hearted laugh from Olivia. Her laughter brought a relaxed smile across his face. "Have a good day, and call me if you need anything."

"I will," she said, smiling back over her shoulder as she walked away.

* * *

Casey smiled when she saw her friend sipping a coffee. They'd agreed to meet for lunch at Olivia's favorite coffee spot, and sure enough, the brown-eyed woman was smiling over the hot liquid. Casey never felt sorry for Olivia for losing the amnesia. It was a gift, wrapped in ugly paper. While the fall scared them all, and the coma took its toll, the person Olivia was now was amazing. She was the same person, but so much happier. Olivia joked openly, laughed without worry that it was too loud. She wasn't afraid to relax, or to make friends. 

And she had almost no recollection of the horrible cases she worked.

The whole squad envied that.

"Hey, Liv. You look great!"

"Thanks. I feel great." I pulled up my chair and sat with her. "So, I have news."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant." Casey felt her jaw drop and her eys bug out. "Is this a bad thing?"

"I'll kill him-"

"Who?"

"Elliot! That son-of-a-bitch took advantage of you, Olivia! You've arrested people for less and had me prosecute them!" Olivia laughed and pulled her friend back into the chair.

"This wasn't planned, and it wasn't forced...well...I kinda pushed him into it...but-" Casey held up her hands

"Don't! I don't need nor do I WANT the details!" Olivia laughed again and sipped at her celebratory last coffee. "What does Elliot think?"

"He's really...he's just so...-"

"You don't no how to tell him?"

"No idea."

"Olivia, he may not take this too well. Just...be prepared. Okay?"

"Why wouldn't he be excited?" Casey mentally groaned.

"Just call me if you need me to kick him in the forehead. Okay?" Olivia nodded, with a worried expression coming over her face.

* * *

"Olivia," Elliot called though the apartment. He found her asleep in their bedroom. He dove onto the bed, waking her. "Hey, Babe!" 

"How was work?"

"Casey's acting like a psychopath, Cragen yanked me into his office about 6 times to lecture me on you. What did you tell Casey at Lunch?"

"What did they say?"

"Casey threatened me with death if I made you cry, even once. Cragen first reminded me that if he thought I was taking advantage of you, I'd be done as a cop, followed by the importance of trust, and then twice asked me how you were doing-"

"Pregnant. I'm pregnant."

Silence filled the apartment.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm 4 weeks along."

"That's...wow...Olivia," he said gently. "So, basically, our first time was a home run, eh?" Liv laughed. "Are you okay with that?"

"I was, but Casey said you may not jump for joy over this-"

"She was wrong, Livvie," he said smiling at her. "I'm a little scared, but I'm happy, Olivia." Olivia fell into his arms crying. "We're really going to have a baby?"

"Yeah," she said.

"I hope she's as beautiful as you are, my Olivia."

* * *

The hottest months of summer ended around the time Olivia stopped throwing up anything and everything that went down. September lead in with cooler evenings and windy days. By the first of October, anyone who looked at her could tell that there was a tiny life growing inside her. Initially, the squad was bitter and defensive about the pregnancy. Fin and Munch hauled Elliot out to the roof and ripped him a new one for taking advantage of an amnesiac. 

It had taken Cragen an hour to talk them out of a rage. Once the baby kicked, and the group all felt it at Sunday dinner, all hard feelings were gone, and they were happy for the couple.

In her time off, Olivia read as much as possible. She wanted to go back to work as a cop. She read all the books that had been heres in criminal law, and other required reading for the degree. In September, she was back at SVU, strictly talking with the victims and helping them through their trauma, taking their statement, and filing paper work.

Her doctors had hopes that it would jog her memory; being back at work. There were one or two things familiar, but nothing new came. She had 6 memories now to look back on; Alex, Casey and coffee, Dinner with the Stablers, a young woman who gave birth to her brother and threw him in the trash, sipping wine with a woman with blue eyes, and Cragen looking at a yellow card with an old magnifine glass, and Elliot whispering 'Police Work.'

Her goal was to build from those memories on, but nothing came.

Even though it was early October, the apartment always felt too warm for her, especially while they were getting the nursery together. Painting and putting furnature together was something she expected Elliot to be good at, having four children and all. To the amusement of Liv, Maureen, and Casey, he was horrible with Olivia's took box. Liv thanked god that the crib they picked out was more like a puzzle; it snapped together with no tools needed.

"Its freezing in here," Maureen said, pulling her sweater on tight.

"Are you kidding?" Olivia said, leaning into the breeze that flowed throught the open window. "I could use about 5 degrees colder." Olivia turned quickly, knocking Elliot and the drinks he was carrying. He moaned in pain where the coffee burned his skin.

"Dad! Are you okay? I'll get some towels." Maureen dashed from the room.

"Elliot! Oh god! I'm sorry!" Olivia said, reaching for him. Tears stung her eyes. She was hormonal, and now terrified that she'd burned Elliot.

"Liv," he said, looking up. "I'm okay. Its all right." He looked back down at his hands. Casey took the coffee cups into kitchen while Maureen wrapped the cool wet towl on his hands.

A new memory flooded Olivia.

* * *

_A man had a gun to Elliot's head. They were both yelling at her; the man...Gat...Grin...Git..Gitano! Gitano was yelling for her to put the gun down, and Elliot was yelling for her to shoot him._

_"I'll tell you where she is."_

_"Where?"_

_"She's in a van parked in a garage in Newark. She might still be alive."_

_"He's lying." Elliot looked so scared. His brave mask was fading and she could see it._

_"I know."_

_"He's never gonna tell us."_

_"You're right." Elliot was fighting so hard not to cry._

_"We can all walk out of here alive if you just put the gun down."_

_"Its alright."_

_"I'm sorry..." Elliot closed his eyes and prepared himself to die. He knew he was going to die._

* * *

"Olivia? Liv?" Olivia was breathing hard, staring blankly at them. "Benson, look at me. What's going on?" Olivia snapped her head up and looked into his eyes for a second before pulling him into a hug that made it hard for him to breathe. 

"Gitano. What...what happened?" she whispered, tears flowing down her cheeks. Elliot backed up and wiped her eyes.

"Sniper took him out, we found the girl. Alive. We found the girl alive."

Seven. She now had seven memories to go back to.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

There were problems with this chapter, so I reworked a few bits here and there. Hope you like the changes

* * *

Don stood, leaned against the door frame looking out into his squad room. For the first time in 8 months, his squad room looked normal to him. Everything looked and felt like home. He sighed happily and sipped at the horrible, but highly effective, coffee from his favorite mug. His squadroom looked good.

Benson was parked at her desk. Dani left the unit after a case got too close to home for her. As Elliot was without a partner, Olivia wanted to go back to work more, at least until a new partner could be found for Detective Stabler. Benson and Stabler. Don loved the sight of them at their desks, exchanging little looks, friendly professional banter, harrassing Fin and Munch with paper footballs...a beautiful sight indeed.

Olivia was the desk jockey; paperwork, phone calls, computer work. Her eyes met with the captain's, and she smiled briefly before looking back at the computer monitor.

"Liv, go home. Its late, you're tired, and that baby isn't going to be as forgiving as I am."

"Can't, I'm digging up info for Munch."

"She makes a great research assistant." Olivia chuckled and typed as her partner threw a paper football at Munch for his comment. "She's a big girl. She can handle it."

"I'm keeping an eye out for her, Cap," Fin offered. "Goin on a pregnant lady food run now. Everyone want their usual?"

"Sure," Elliot said, fishing a couple of twenties from his wallet.

"I could kill for a double cheese burger, extra onions, big fries, and the biggest, coldest Mr. Pibb you can find."

"Mr. Pibb? You don't want Dr. Pepper?" Olivia gagged at the thought.

"Still makes me sick. Baby hates it. Mr. Pibb." The men rolled their eyes and Fin set off.

"So, you picked out any names yet, Stabler?" Munch asked, flipping through the latest file.

"Its hard. All the good names were taken by victims. Ryan, James, Edward..." John snorted.

"This job just makes life difficult some times, doesn't it?" Elliot nodded and picked up his own file.

"Looks like we can take Kyle off our list," he said.

"Kyle was never on our list."

"Look," Don said. "Name your kid later. Now isn't the time or the place for that." Olivia looked up. He was trying to be a hard-ass boss, but she saw through that cover. He wasn't able to keep from smiling. "Just get to work. Welcome back, Liv." With that, he turned and went back into his office. Life had gotten back to abnormal; just how Don liked it.

"Its freezing in here," Olivia said, pulling her jacket on.

"This is a first. You okay?"

"Just cold. I know I can't have too much coffee, but there has to be something warm I can have...?" Her eyes were pleading, and Elliot sighed and caved.

"Anything you want, Ms. Benson," he gushed, teasing. "You melt my heart," he sang loudly.

"I'll send your partner for a hot chocolate after we mop him off the floor." Elliot looked up.

"Hot chocolate." He dashed from the room. "Be back," he hollered over his shoulder.

"Olivia," Cragen said smiling. "How the hell did you train him so well so quickly?" Olivia laughed in response and went back to typing. "Take a break," Don said, seeing his favorite detective yawning. Olivia nodded and headed up to the cribs.

* * *

Elliot hurried back into the squadroom with his prize for Olivia. Why he didn't think of it before, he can't understand. The hot chocolate was something between the two of them. It was the last thing she had before the fall. They shared so many moments over hot chocolate. She would remember if she just tasted it. She had to.

"Liv?"

"She's sleeping in the cribs. What's that?"

"Hot chocolate. Save one for me," he said, bounding up the steps to the cribs. He peeked in, and spotted her on a bunk, eyes closed. She wasn't asleep yet; she snores softly when she sleeps. "Olivia?"

"Whm?"

"I brought a gift for you, babe. Taste this and tell me-"

"El," she whined lightly. "I don't want to."

"Please, Olivia?" She could hear the desparation in his voice and sipped from the cup.

"Its good."

"And?"

"Its...its not like the hot chocolate I had with Maureen."

"What's different?" Elliot ask, leaning close. 'C'mon...you know this Liv...'

"Honey..." she said looking at the cup.

_"Honey, you'll never get it out of me. Stop Trying!"_

"You put Honey in it," she said, the memory flashing through her head.

_"I think I figured it out!" Olivia said, tossing the cup into a garbage can outside of the apartment building where the suspect lived. "Every time I ask, you say the same thing, 'Honey, you'll never get it out of me.' Its Honey! You put a little honey in it!" _

_"Gee, great detective work, Benson. I've been waiting for you to get it for 8 years."_

Memories of them in the squad room flooded back with a vengance.

"Liv?"

"Jeremy...the stairs..."

"You remember?"

"My mother fell down the stairs in the subway...drunk. I fell down the stairs. We were...Elliot, I was in Oregon." Olivia dropped her face in her hands in pain. Her head was pounding. "El..."

"Olivia...Liv?" She fell limp in his arms. "CAP!" he screamed. "CAPTAIN! GET A BUS!"

* * *

Olivia looked up. She was in a hospital room, but why, she had no idea. 'Wait...I fell...I think.'

"Liv?"

"Hey, Stabler. You look like hell." Elliot wrapped his arms around her. "Settle down...what-"

"I thought I lost you again."

"What happened?"

"What is the last thing you remember?" Olivia thought for a long five minutes.

"Jesus...I don't know...its a pretty big mess."

"Anything...anything at all. I just want you to think What is the last thing you can clearly remember?"

"I remember clearly you going to arrest Rivvan, and then its pretty hazy." Elliots heart sank. "I feel huge..."

"Rivvan kicked you down the stairs. You were in a coma for a few weeks. When you woke up, you had almost no memory of who you were. You lived with me. You aren't fat, you're 5 months pregnant with our son," he said, tears welling in his eyes. "Olivia, your fall was about 8 months ago." Olivia rested a hand over her belly. "I swear, I didn't take advantage of you-"

"Get out, Stabler."

"Liv-"

"Now," she said, turning away from him. Her voice was dangerous and low.

"I fucking told you."

"What?"

"_You _made the first move on me, Olivia. I told you, that when you came through this you would hate me for it."

"Didn't stop you from...Jesus, just get out!"

"Fine. But if and when you're done sorting out everything, I'll be here." Elliot left. Olivia couldn't believe it. A year of her life gone, and now she was pregnant, not married, and Elliot is in-love with her. A memory came to her clearly.

_"You're in-love with me?" Elliot turned red again and turned and looked over the edge. "Elliot, how long?"_

_"Jesus, I don't know." he said, sighing. "Long time...long before Kathy left._

_"I know you love me, I felt it the minute I looked in your eyes. But in-love? This changes things a bit, doesn't it..."_

_"Does it?"_

_"Not for me, hell we've been sleeping together for damn near a month now," she said seductively_

Olivia shook that one from her head, but ten more replaced it, where she was holding Elliot while he slept, making love in the precinct gym, failed attempts at cooking for him. Every time she forced one away, more came to her, and Liv realized that they were all good memories. She played the piano for him. She held him every night.

"Olivia?" Don's voice echoed through the room. "May I come in?"

"Sure," her shaking voice replied.

"I just saw Elliot leave, and there are some thing that I think you need to hear."

"Now isn't the best time-"

"Olivia," he started. "He loves you. When you were here before, the man fell apart. We had a double team on him for three weeks. He took you home and brought you back to us, Liv. I don't know how much of the last 8 months you remember, so I'm going to tell you, and you are going to listen. You got that?" he said, voice booming. Olivia knew he wasn't kidding around.

"Yes," she replied.

"Let's start with the doulbe team." Don's voice was dangerous and low. "He talks in his sleep. Apparently his pillow's name is Olivia. He went catatonic for 2 weeks. Walked in on me and Casey making out in his kitchen-"

"**_WHAT_**!?"

"We'll get to that later. Back to Benson/Stabler. Everything was different. You were a different person. You were you, but you were free, you were happy, and peaceful. For a while, you had all the horror in your life removed. No idea what happened to your mother, no nightmares about victims, no blood stains on clothes. You played the piano for anyone who would listen. Olivia, you were so happy."

"I was happy before-"

"Liar."

"My happiness isn't for you to judge."

"Olivia Benson, you have more than just a chance at a family, and you're going to throw it away-" he yelled.

"I don't need a man to make me happy."

"No, you're stronger than that. But did you ever think that maybe you need a friend to lean on?" Don let that sink in for a moment. "You claim to not need a man, but what about family?"

"I have no family-"

"You have more family than most. You have been like a daughter to me, Olivia. You are probably the reason Munch hasn't eaten his gun. He'd given up on love, and on people, and you came in, so confident, but so kind. He said to me once, that while most people had been respectful to him, few people had ever been nice to him. Fin trusts you. Fin doesn't trust anybody...not even me. Casey looks to you for strength more than you can possibly understand."

"Why are you putting all of this on me? Its not my job to keep you guys in line! I didn't ask for that responsibility, Don."

"You have always been there when we needed you. Why can't you just accept that we were there when you needed us? When you didn't have an excuse to hide behind, you and Elliot were heppy together. You had **nothing **and no one. Munch went to every doctor's appointment that Elliot couldn't make it to. Fin goes on more pregnant lady food runs than Elliot did with his first four children. Casey and I decorated the nursery for you while you were out with Elliot. Before you toss him to the curb, just think about how much he loves his kids, and that one of them resides inside of you." Don turned and left.

* * *

Olivia was released a day later to go home and pick up the pieces of her lives. She looked at it like two lives. Before the fall, and after. Her post-fall memories were sorting themselves out slowly, and she was settling in with pregnancy. Casey had visited her, and gave her a similar chewing-out that Cragen had, only she added, "If you go back to being miserable because you can't open your mind to the possibility that you love him, than you and I have nothing to say to each other."

To her mild surprise, the key to Elliot's apartment worked. Her things were littered about. The cat lazily stretched and wandered up to Olivia, rounded her legs once, purring and went back to ignoring all living things. The apartment was clean, and well blended with his/her things, and the pictures of them over the years were properly framed. She'd kept them in an impersonal box. Now, they were on display for everyone to see. Every step she took through the apartment brought back more ofer the last 8 months and inserted it into its proper place.

She wasn't ready for their bedroom yet, so she went into the nursery. Elliot, Don and Casey had finished putting everything together and set up for their son. There was even a framed sonogram on the dresser. He was excited about their baby. In the next frame was a picture of Olivia with allof Elliot's kids from her birthday.

"Liv?"

"Elliot," she said, startled. "Why aren't you at work?"

"Didn't want you to come home alone. Look, Olivia, I never took advantage of you. I swear."

"I know. I remember a lot more now than I did before," she said gently.

"I didn't even make the first move."

"No, you didn't. The gym...I think we were in the gym-" She stopped. "Elliot, did you say you were in-love with me?"

"Yeah," he choked out. Olivia took his hand and smiled. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it gingerly.

"Elliot?"

"What?"

"Did I ask you to tell me about me?"

"Every day."

"Elliot?"

"What?"

"Tell me about us?" Elliot choked out a laugh through tears.

"Well, you love when I rub your shoulders...and you play the piano for me every morning..."

* * *

END!!!! 


	8. Chapter 8

Took a while to post, but there was a LITTLE bit left unsaid

* * *

Olivia took out her journal and began writing while she listened to Ethan and Elliot rough-house in the next room.

_Its been 7 years since the fall, and I find that I still have memories coming back. Little things from that 8-month haze that I lived through surface slowly every once in a while. Well, I wouldn't put it so drastically. Saying i lived through it makes it sound like a terrible ordeal. I guess it started out that way, but I would be where I am without it. I wouldn't be living with a great guy that I adore, Ethan wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be the person I am today._

_Who knows where I'd be._

_Today I remembered strawberry ice cream, and how it tasted so good one time. I'd avoided it for as long as I can remember because of my mother. When things were good, life was normal. When she was drunk, all that we'd have to eat was strawberry ice cream. Weeks at a time, that's the only thing I had to eat. It never tasted good to me after that. But in the hospital, that first tase, it was new to me again. It was delicious and sweet. Not bitter like I remember._

_Another thing I got back this week was a little flash of memory of Elliot holding my hand when I first woke up. I looked into his eyes and I knew I was safe. That's all I knew, but I knew it rock solid at the time. He was there for me in so many ways just by holding my hand when I woke up._

"Mommy!" Ethan yelled, running into the bedroom and bouncing onto his mother's bed. "Don't let him tickle me!" Olivia finished the last line of her journal entry and put the pen and notebook away.

"Hiding behind Mommy? Ethan Benson Stabler," Elliot laughed.

"How 'bout we tickle Mommy?"

"Don't you da-" Elliot didn't allow her to finishe the sentence. "Stop it!" she cried laughing. Another shriek of laughter, and he let up. "Dinner ready?"

"Why, yes, Miz Benson," he said in a horrible fake Southern accent. One look from his girl friend and he went New York again. "I just came to tell ya, babe."

"Wonderful."

"Moma?"

"How come you and daddy have different last names?"

"We're not married, Squirt," Elliot said, pushing the baseball hat onto his son's head.

"How come you're not married?"

"Because things are working great just how they are, my little man." Olivia stretched. "Dinner's ready."

"I get to say grace!" Ethen yelled running from the room.

"Wasn't so hard," Elliot said, letting out the breath he'd been holding for 6 years awaiting that question.

"Yeah, uh huh. So, you're beet red because it was easy."

"Shuddup." Elliot lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the room, leaving the open journal on the night stand.

_Elliot helped me to remember me. But he did more; he gave me a new life to put with my old. As I said, I didn't so much survive those 8 months. I was reborn from them. Olivia Benson, May 17, 2014_

* * *

_Hope you Ejnoyed 'Remember Me.' And yes, I'm working on more. Tentatively entitled 'Forget me Not.'_


End file.
